So today once more my supervisor came by and struck me. This is getting to the point where I am going to respond and when I respond it will be with a finality that will be clear. I cannot imagine how anyone can think it’s okay to put their hands on another person and think it’s okay especially in a professional setting.
But, I’m a guy and if a guy makes noise about these things were pussies. Seriously, that’s the double standard that’s employed because as a guy I’m supposed to just suck it up and take it when some other guy thinks it’s okay even though I want to punch his lights out.
I’m always amazed too at the liberties people can take not truly knowing who you are as a person or your history. Understand, I carry myself at work a very specific way, a way that is light years away from my origins. People who know me a long time know those origins and know full well certain boundaries are never meant to be crossed.
I’m trying to figure out how to deal with this without blowing it up.
In the meantime, work has caused me such a level of stress that I’ve developed TMJ, years of working as a freelancer, years of worrying about where the next gig would begin and when the current one would end while causing me tension never resulted in what I face now.
I cannot begin to describe the incredible PAIN I deal with daily. I mean the kind of thing that just swallows up a whole side of my head and causes me a degree of pain that I though I might be having a heart attack.
Yes, that’s the kind of stress I’ve been dealing with.
So, August is in the books and there wasn’t a single week where I didn’t do overtime, mind you one of those weeks was a three and a half day week and I STILL WENT OVER FORTY HOURS!
Anyway, I resolved that I can’t do it anymore. Seriously. I mean it’s starting to impact my health in a very negative way. So today after I received a call asking the I come in early (which was the second time in a three day weekend that work intruded) I came in earlier than I was asked to and made sure I left at a reasonable hour.
My co-worker is trying very much to be a nice guy and a bit of a martyr but I just can't be dragged along on the crazy train anymore.
So, like I said the TMJ, WOW! I mean super pain! Pain bigger than I’ve ever felt in a long time!
Today in the middle of the day I tried eating lunch and BOOM! TMJ! No eating for you! Seriously moving the jaw at all was just an exercise in torture!
But, on the flip side, let’s take a look at the silver lining because we can always take the bad and obsess over it!
One of the goals I’ve had is to quite simple lose some weight. Plainly put, as one idiot described it, I’m a fat fuck (which was funny because the person who said this was a fatter fuck). I do want to lose weight though. I’ve watched as the scale has gone in the opposite direction for awhile now and I’ve maxed out at 240 at times which seriously is somewhat abhorrent to me.
Then I’ve been weighing myself in the last few days...
Stress, lots of time at the job without eating, not eating at night when I come home, not having much of an appetite in general and eating less during lunch as it is...
Well I weighed myself this morning and truthfully something is wrong with the scale.
It said 218.
Then I weighed myself this evening and it lied again.
It said 212.
I haven’t weighed that in eight years.
So, in even the darkest cloud there is a silver lining. I think my scale is lying to me but if it isn’t, I have to be happy because I am moving in a direction I want to be moving and can soon start exercising as well.
It doesn’t mean life sucks any less but at least there is some positives to be found!
But, I’m a guy and if a guy makes noise about these things were pussies. Seriously, that’s the double standard that’s employed because as a guy I’m supposed to just suck it up and take it when some other guy thinks it’s okay even though I want to punch his lights out.
I’m always amazed too at the liberties people can take not truly knowing who you are as a person or your history. Understand, I carry myself at work a very specific way, a way that is light years away from my origins. People who know me a long time know those origins and know full well certain boundaries are never meant to be crossed.
I’m trying to figure out how to deal with this without blowing it up.
In the meantime, work has caused me such a level of stress that I’ve developed TMJ, years of working as a freelancer, years of worrying about where the next gig would begin and when the current one would end while causing me tension never resulted in what I face now.
I cannot begin to describe the incredible PAIN I deal with daily. I mean the kind of thing that just swallows up a whole side of my head and causes me a degree of pain that I though I might be having a heart attack.
Yes, that’s the kind of stress I’ve been dealing with.
So, August is in the books and there wasn’t a single week where I didn’t do overtime, mind you one of those weeks was a three and a half day week and I STILL WENT OVER FORTY HOURS!
Anyway, I resolved that I can’t do it anymore. Seriously. I mean it’s starting to impact my health in a very negative way. So today after I received a call asking the I come in early (which was the second time in a three day weekend that work intruded) I came in earlier than I was asked to and made sure I left at a reasonable hour.
My co-worker is trying very much to be a nice guy and a bit of a martyr but I just can't be dragged along on the crazy train anymore.
So, like I said the TMJ, WOW! I mean super pain! Pain bigger than I’ve ever felt in a long time!
Today in the middle of the day I tried eating lunch and BOOM! TMJ! No eating for you! Seriously moving the jaw at all was just an exercise in torture!
But, on the flip side, let’s take a look at the silver lining because we can always take the bad and obsess over it!
One of the goals I’ve had is to quite simple lose some weight. Plainly put, as one idiot described it, I’m a fat fuck (which was funny because the person who said this was a fatter fuck). I do want to lose weight though. I’ve watched as the scale has gone in the opposite direction for awhile now and I’ve maxed out at 240 at times which seriously is somewhat abhorrent to me.
Then I’ve been weighing myself in the last few days...
Stress, lots of time at the job without eating, not eating at night when I come home, not having much of an appetite in general and eating less during lunch as it is...
Well I weighed myself this morning and truthfully something is wrong with the scale.
It said 218.
Then I weighed myself this evening and it lied again.
It said 212.
I haven’t weighed that in eight years.
So, in even the darkest cloud there is a silver lining. I think my scale is lying to me but if it isn’t, I have to be happy because I am moving in a direction I want to be moving and can soon start exercising as well.
It doesn’t mean life sucks any less but at least there is some positives to be found!
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